I regard touch as a cornerstone of my life. It gives me access to presence, allowing me to perceive the world vividly. When I am in physical contact with other individuals and living beings, I feel more connected to my own body. It enables me to discern what holds significance for me in the present moment.
Understanding a man through physical contact remained a mystery to me until life presented me with the opportunity to explore it, which led to transformative experiences.
My Personal Journey with Touch and Dance
The first time I remember someone embracing me, I was 23 years old. It was in 2002 when I met Dan and Heather, two dancers—Dan from Australia and Heather from Canada. For them, it seemed entirely natural. For me, it was surprising yet strangely familiar; simply holding them in my arms brought me joy. At the time, we were living in a Chinese province where I had embarked on my journey as a dancer, leaving behind a promising career as an industrial engineer.
I dived into the realm of touch through dance and somatic practices. Numerous memories stand out, each marking significant moments where touch and movement intersected, shaping my current relationship with my body. One such memory is of a Contact Improvisation and Body Mind Centering session led by Ferenc Kálmán in Budapest in 2007. As my body moved closer to and farther from the ground, a continuous exploration ensued. I remember the sensation of my body making contact with the ground, as I observed and engaged in the process. It was a revelation, an ecstatic experience that prompted me to explore deeper into the realm of body-mind and movement awareness.
The movement practices I cherish most are deeply rooted in body awareness, involving an intimate connection with each of my body systems (fluids, bones, organs, movement patterns, reflexes…). I like creating opportunities for both myself and my students to perform and be seen on stage. I am drawn to the vulnerability of improvisation, where I surrender to the present moment, allowing my body to navigate and express itself freely between sensation, proprioception, space, and time. In those moments of performance, touch transcends the physicality, as my perception of the audience becomes reciprocal, we touch each other emotionally and spiritually.
In my dance practice, touch and physical closeness are ever-present. I've come to understand the profound support that touch provides, especially in the world of improvisation, where uncertainty reigns supreme. Embracing the unknown is essential. I'm fascinated by the realization that even when I lose awareness of my movements, my body never fails to reclaim my attention, asserting its presence.
To touch a man
Through my interactions and shared experiences with men, I've come to realize that men touch me differently. I've acknowledged that I once maintained a certain distance from men, perhaps as a means of self-protection or due to my lack of experience with physical intimacy among male family members and friends.
However, being in the company of nurturing masculine energies has transformed my relationship with other men. Allowing myself to be vulnerable and open with fellow men has brought me closer to understanding and accepting myself. I've begun to embrace my authenticity as a man, acknowledging both my strengths and vulnerabilities. This journey has been facilitated by the profound wisdom of touch, particularly proximal touch, which has enabled me to let go of the need to prove myself and simply be present in my body.
Embracing touch within a community of men has allowed me to embody and explore my masculinity more fully. I've found strength in vulnerability, honesty in simplicity, and confidence in fragility. No longer do I feel the need to perform or pretend; instead, I stand on equal ground with my fellow men, supported by their presence and acceptance.
In essence, participating in the Moving Man community has revealed the inherent gifts of being among men in moments of shared vulnerability and growth. Through touch, I've come to understand and appreciate both the depth of connection and the reciprocity inherent in human interaction.
Extra exercise proposal about both sidedness of touch, of what we do in Moving Man. I used to do this exercise in my workshops. I invite you to experiment with the following exercise:
- Invite both of your palms to touch each other.
- Start by intentionally invite your right hand to touch the left hand.
- Stay with it for a moment.
- let your hand free, then start again and intentionally let your left hand touch your right hand. How does it feel? Is there a difference?
- Let your hands free from one another.
- Then try again, but now with no intention. Let your two palms touch, and then ask yourself the question, which hand is touching the other one?
- Let your hands free again, then start to touch your face, let your hands explore the skin of your face, with your palms and your fingers, sometimes rest for a moment, let your face and your hands meet.
- Ask yourself the question: Is it my face touching my hands, or my hands touching my face?
Touch is proximal, you can feel it when it is here, present, and touch is also both sided, if I touch I am also touched.
Grégory Chevalier, March 2024.